Thursday, October 24, 2013

Jeff Koons' Private Parts

I was invited to a fancy charity dinner in Paris, and was treated to a delicious feast of suave irony.  It's not every day that I sip Dom Perignon with Jeff Koons and Laurent Fabius, paid for by a tax-exempt charity. The conversation went something like this:

Jeff:  I love France, I love Versailles.   They just did a show of my work.  For centuries, people with wealth and power have bought the world's best art to show the world their excellent taste.

Laurent:  We're so happy to invite our American friends to France.  I come from a long family tradition of art dealers. In France, we support culture.  
Silly rich person at our table:  Jeff, which artist had the most influence on you?

Jeff:  My favorite artist has always been Monet, or Manet, I mean Monet.  

Me:  I start howling with laughter.  I am kicked in the shin by my partner. 

Silly rich person at our table:  I adore la France.  My entire house in Dallas is decorated in French style.  and Peter, what do you do, she asks, feigning interest.

Me:  I work in privacy, and I'm bemused by Jeff's soft-porn art and the idea of an artist exposing his erection as a statement about what's private and what's public. 

Laurent:  Apologies, dear American friends, I must leave you now to speak with Assad.  So vulgar, but his wife is charming. 

Jeff:  Apologies, too, I have to catch a flight with Francois to Venice tomorrow, he says, with an ah-shucks tone and a million-dollar smile that had all of us swoon.  

Silly rich person at our table:  I just loved them both!  So down-to-earth!  but, Peter, I think your comment about his nude art made him uncomfortable.  Did he really show his private parts in his art?  I'd like to see that.  

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